High School DxD: Video Game Life
by Temairine
Summary: When Issei died and was reincarnated as a devil, his life changed. That much was expected. But for reality to change as well, and into a video game at that... was not! With levels, stats, skills and boss fights to face, Rating Games will take on a whole new meaning. Through exploits, glitches and other challenges can Issei become the Harem King that he wishes to be?
1. Chapter 1

**High School DxD: Video Game Life**

**So... this is just another idea that I came up with for a video game plot story. I haven't ever written ecchi before so I can't say how well I will. That said I hope you enjoy Issei's adventures. If anyone wants to beta please let me know since otherwise this will probably remain at one chapter.**

I am lying, on the ground, dying. My girlfriend all of a sudden grew wings and killed me with a magic spear... It sounds unbelievable even to me, and I'm the one with a hole in my stomach to prove it. Yuuma-chan killed me. Even though I am technically not dead yet, I will be soon. Ah... it is true that life sucks and then you die.

In all my sixteen years I have never had a girlfriend, until now. And she killed me. I guess that the saying "too good to be true" also applies to my life. My blood pools around me as I lie on the stone paving around the park fountain, forming an intricate pattern... no actually its forming words.

I know how ridiculous that that sounds. I wouldn't believe me either. But when you've seen what I've seen then blood forming words is not that much of a surprise. They're glowing as well, and I focus my blurred vision on them. What it says is...

**NEW GAME  
NEW GAME +  
EXIT**

How strange... it looks just like a video game screen. I push myself up in an attempt at something – I don't know what I can do, but I don't want to die either. My strength, however, gives out and I collapse back into the pool of blood, my hand slips and lands on the glowing words. The glowing words stating "NEW GAME +", to be specific.

Now there is a sense of detachment, I look down and see my body... I really have died a virgin then. I wonder how many points I would lose for that if my life was actually a game...

Then a screen appears before me, and I would jump, if I wasn't floating in the air above my body. It's hard to jump when there's nothing to push off from. Someone is bending over my body, their flame red hair brushing the blood covered pavement, the shades matching perfectly. The leaflet that I got from that weird person earlier glows briefly and words appear.

**Do you accept the contract? [Yes] or [No]**

What sort of contract is this? I don't understand... but... what have I got to lose if I accept... I pick yes.

**Status Gained [Unknown]**

That is unusual... I wonder why I am not freaking out over this. I did just watch myself die after all. You know, there still is a video game vibe to this scenario...

**Are you [Male] or [Female]?**

Are you kidding me? This really is a video game? Yes! I get a second chance at life! Wait a moment, just what sort of game is my life... I hope it's a Hentai one... If it is a Hentai one I had better select male, just to be on the safe side. Kami please help me aim for the Harem End!

**You have taken damage! HP 45/50**

Ouch! What did I do wrong? Is it because I am a pervert or something? I didn't peek on the changing girls, Matsuda and Motohama wouldn't let me see thorough the hole! Is there no place for perversion in heaven? There goes my fantasy of an afterlife filled with gorgeous angels... But I cannot give in!

**[Male] Selected: Is This Correct?**

**[Yes] or [No]**

Yes it most definitely is!

**Please Select Your First Alignment: [Lawful], [Neutral], [Chaotic]**

Eh, better go with chaotic... I'm not a bad guy but I'm certainly not one who always follows the rules either. Therefore Chaotic is the best match for my personality.

**[Chaotic] Selected: Is This Correct?**

**[Yes] or [No]**

Yes, now what is next?

**Please Select Your First Alignment: [Good], [Neutral], [Evil]**

Definitely good, I mean I do have some bad habits but I like to think that outside of the sins of lust (for girls) and envy (of that pretty boy) I am a pretty decent person.

**[Good] Selected: Is This Correct?**

**[Yes] or [No]**

**Your Alignment is: [Chaotic Good]**

**...**

**Please choose your Sacred Gears**

Now I'm lost... what on earth is a sacred gear? Is this some kind of RPG? Maybe I'll get a better idea of what this is if I look at the list.

**Available Sacred Gears, Option 1, Left Arm:**

**[Boosted Gear]**

What! There is only one option here! Stupid misleading game... Why did you make me think that I had a choice about this! And tell me what a sacred gear is!

After a short mental tirade at some sort of artificial intelligence construct, I select the boosted gear option, only to feel incredibly stupid as a description pops up.

**Boosted Gear: This gives the user the ability to double their power every few seconds for a certain amount of time**

So this is some sort of RPG, well, I suppose that that explains Yuuma's wings. I wonder what she was... an angel... a siren... a shape shifter...

She was really pretty but I have added a new requirement to my potential girlfriend checklist. It's not like its long, the only original criteria is to be attractive. So I'm adding a second one, must not have murderous intentions.

But getting back to the situation at hand, the Boosted Gear is like some sort of permanent bonus that I will get. And it's a pretty awesome one at that! I wonder if it doubles Charisma or something... I don't think my perversion levels could get any higher though. If there are negative scores that would be bad: imagine having girls hate me twice as much! That might turn out to be impossible as well, come to think of it.

After selecting Boosted Gear as my option 1, because it was the only option I had, I move onto option 2, which thankfully contains a list of several of these so-called sacred gears. Now what will make me even more awesome than I already am?

**Available Sacred Gears, Option 2, Right Arm:**

**[Zephyrus]: Gives perfect control over the element of wind  
[Amaranth]: A sword which gains power from the spilled blood of enemies  
[Fleur-de-Lys]: May store the power from an enemy attack, and temporarily manifest their sacred gear until the power runs out  
[Twice Critical]: Doubles user's power once for a set duration  
[Rowenguard]: A sword constructed to the users specification, when conditions are met**

They all seem to be pretty good, well except for the one called Twice Critical, but that's because it is greatly outclassed by my Boosted Gear. Who would want a single boost when I they can have multiple ones.

Zephyrus would be good, but despite how cool it would be to control the wind I don't know its abilities, so while the possibility exists to attack with wind, or have the air become a shield, it would not be definite.

Fleur-de-Lys would enable me to use an opponent's power against them; but only if they had a sacred gear in the first place... Are sacred gears common? I really do know nothing. So I'm going to go with Rowenguard.

This is simply because I want a weapon I can use and I really don't feel like hurting people to power up, which seems to be necessary for Amaranth to be effective. Besides that spilling blood to get power kind of goes against my Good Alignment!

Rowenguard it is!

**Available Sacred Gears, Option 3, Miscellaneous:**

**[Orion's Belt]: Grants the ability to sense enemies, and their weaknesses  
[Laurels of Apollo]: Users power is always doubled when in sunlight  
[Ruina Gloria]: Unlocks the potential for all magic's, past and present  
[Belladonna]: Allows creation of undetectable illusions  
[Hallowed Heart]: Allows for recreation of the whole from a part, such as a limb from a body, or a book from a page**

It's a choice between Ruina Gloria and Hallowed Heart. I can't really see a use I would have for illusions, and my power can already be doubled when I need it. That rules Belladonna and Laurels of Apollo out. Sensing enemies has potential, but regeneration or magical abilities seem like the better options.

Hallowed Heart would be best at the beginning, to help me survive, but Ruina Gloria would be better long term, since I would be able to access so many more powers. So I'll try and survive long enough for my choice, Ruina Gloria to become effective.

**Please Assign Your Attribute Points: The maximum for each attribute is 100**

**Strength: 3  
Endurance: 6  
Dexterity: 4  
Looks: 3  
Intellect: 2  
Perception: 3  
Willpower: 7  
Charisma: 1  
Wisdom: 4  
Fate: 5  
Spirit: 6  
Control: 2**

**Points to Assign: [10]**

I... really make a terrible RPG character... just look at my stats! They are so low... I swear that slimes would have higher starting stats than me! My highest one is Willpower! Willpower! That's like saying that I suck at everything but gain points for trying... My next highest is something called Spirit, but I don't know what that is exactly...

**TUTORIAL: What Attributes Are**

**Strength – How strong you are****  
****Endurance – How much stamina you have, and how much pain you can tolerate****  
****Dexterity – How agile and fast you are  
Looks – How attractive you are****  
****Intellect – How clever you are****  
****Perception – How aware you are of your surroundings****  
****Willpower – How determined you are****  
****Charisma – Your ability to charm people****  
****Wisdom – Your ability to read a situation, social or combative****  
****Fate – Your luck and role in the scheme of things****  
****Spirit – Your raw magical power  
Control – How adept you are at using your magical power**

That makes things a bit clearer, but I still have the problem of being a weak level one character. And I really want to raise my Charisma, but with a murderous magical ex-girlfriend on the loose that is probably not the best idea. Normally I would raise Spirit and Control, but seeing as I have no idea how to use magic in the first place that would be a bad idea.

I'll raise my Intellect first by 4, then Perception by 3, 1 each to Dexterity and Strength, and for my last one... well I suppose a little more Charisma wouldn't hurt? NO, snap out of it! Remember Yuuma-chan, I don't think she tried to kill me because of a bad date... Charisma is... sob... out... Last point goes to Wisdom, to help me in a fight.

**Character Creation: Complete!**

...

I'm lying in the park once more, healed by whatever thing this game is. I try to stand, but the residual pain causes me to stumble. Looking down, there is no trace of blood, nothing that would inform an observer that a mere second ago, a boy named Hyoudou Issei was dying in that exact same spot. Well, technically there still is a boy named Hyoudou Issei in the same spot, but thankfully I'm no longer dying.

Looking around, its night-time, the sun has fully set. Was this some sort of weird dream? Out of the corner of my eye I catch a glimpse of red, and whirl around. Is there finally some evidence that this was not all some sort of nightmare? It's not blood though, rather a lock of blood red hair lies across my hand, before a gust of wind sends it flying away. It really is cold here and I run home, my brain is as numb as my chilled body.

For some reason it is hard to sleep that night. Maybe an adrenaline rush from my near death is responsible for it. Whatever the reason I feel a strong energy rushing through my body... a heightening of my senses which curiously dims once the sun begins to rise. And so as the first rays of morning filter through the window I finally drift off to sleep.

Morning comes, and with it the rumbling of my stomach. I really didn't eat much yesterday, I was scared something might get stuck in my teeth and prevent me from kissing Yuuma-chan – or so I thought. And how was I going to explain last night to them! They knew that I had a girlfriend now, and that I went on a date with her yesterday, and so did Matsuda and Motohama.

I was going to be known as the loser who got dumped on his first date, the reason that she turned into a monster and tried to kill me would not be considered realistic or valid for such a sudden break-up. They would more likely think that I was mad. But I have to face reality, and with it curious parents and memories of murderous ex-girlfriends. Steeling myself, I go downstairs.

Huh? This is odd... my parents don't have any recollection of a Yuuma-chan... I know that they never met her but I talked about her enough that they told me to be quiet. I went for my phone to show them her number, and the picture we took together, but that was missing too. It was beyond strange. When I walked into the kitchen I was greeted with something stranger still.

**New Quest: Make Breakfast! Recipes Gained!**

**Objectives -**

**Make 1 bowl of Steamed Rice with Nori and Natto**

**Make 1 bowl of Miso Soup**

**Make 1 cup of Herbal Tea**

What is this... some sort of quest... like in a video game...? I was right! This is a video game which means that I'm not going mad because this happened last night as well. It makes sense as well that if Yuuma-chan could make magical spheres she would also be able to alter memories... I guess I had better get started then.

Since I am terrible at cooking, well the food was also terrible. It was... yucky and I could not bring myself to eat it.

**Cooking Skill Discovered!  
Cooking is now 1!  
Quest: Make Breakfast Failed...**

**New Quest: Make Breakfast! **

**Objectives -**

**Make 1 bowl of Steamed Rice with Nori and Natto**

**Make 1 bowl of Miso Soup**

**Make 1 cup of Herbal Tea**

Wait a minute... why have the hands on the clock not changed position? I must have spent at least half an hour attempting to cook, but the time is still 7:30! Also I am sure that I managed to use up the last of the Miso paste to make it! So... because I failed the quest time has not moved on and I've got the ingredients back... Well... let's try again... maybe I'll succeed?

Nope, the food is still as terrible as before.

**Cooking is now 2!**

Hang on... I increase in skill every time I cook... even if I fail? And since time doesn't seem to move on unless I complete this I can repeat it again and again! Alright! I am going to cook

**Quest: Make Breakfast Failed...**

**Cooking is now 20!**

**Quest: Make Breakfast Failed...**

I really am getting better at this. I think I could actually eat this without needing immediate hospitalisation! Though I might need some medication for food poisoning...

**Cooking is now 50! You have gained new skills to replace your previous one!**

**Chinese Cuisine: 0/100  
Japanese Cuisine: 50/100  
Korean Cuisine: 0/100  
Indian Cuisine: 0/100  
Thai Cuisine: 0/100  
Mediterranean Cuisine: 0/100  
French Cuisine: 0/100  
Caribbean Cuisine: 0/100  
German Cuisine: 0/100  
British Cuisine: 0/100  
Spanish Cuisine: 0/100**

Okay... so I can now cook different types of food... Japanese is the only one I have any skill in... But then again I have only been cooking Japanese food... Maybe I'll raid my mother's recipe books, then I might get some more.

Saying the word 'recipe' brought up a menu, just like a video game one... Under crafting there was a tab labelled cooking which contained five recipes. They were for Steamed rice, Natto, Nori, Miso soup and herbal tea. Yep, I think I will raid the cupboard where the recipe books are kept.

**Recipe Gained: Chicken Chow Mein  
Recipe Gained: Sweet and Sour Chicken  
Recipe Gained: Egg Fried Rice**

Recipe Gained: Kimichi  
Recipe Gained: Curry  
Recipe Gained: Ramen  
Recipe Gained: Soba  
Recipe Gained: Udon  
Recipe Gained: Broiled Fish  
...

And so while the 25 odd recipes I gained were mostly Japanese, there were some Chinese and Korean ones as well as a single Indian one. Next to be raided was the ever plentiful fridge, as whenever I failed the ingredients returned to their natural state. I still got the resulting dishes, but it took me a while to find out where they were kept. It turns out that they weren't kept under food, but in the poisons section of the inventory. Thank you very much game.

**Quest: Make Breakfast Failed...**

It turns out that I get the ingredients back if I cook the wrong dish because it is not what the quest specified. So I could basically cook anything we had the ingredients for, an unlimited amount of times.

So I cooked, and cooked until I finally got fed up and decided to go to school since I had finally made an 'above average' breakfast. Food had to be poor or above to be stored in the food section, and at above average quality it would replenish health. My cooking skills had progressed to this level, but only in Japanese foods. My current cooking stats were...

**Chinese Cuisine: 24/100  
Japanese Cuisine: 60/100  
Korean Cuisine: 10/100  
Indian Cuisine: 3/100  
Thai Cuisine: 0/100  
Mediterranean Cuisine: 0/100  
French Cuisine: 0/100  
Caribbean Cuisine: 0/100  
German Cuisine: 0/100  
British Cuisine: 0/100  
Spanish Cuisine: 0/100**

**Quest Completed: Make Breakfast: +25XP**

**New Quest: Go to School!**

**Objectives – Reach the School Gate on Time!**

And so I stepped out of the front door, and walked to the street. I felt, sort of weary, a feeling the complete opposite to what I felt last night and worse than I had been inside the house.

**Status Alert: You are in Direct Sunlight: -25% from all stats!**

Had I become some sort of vampire! Why on earth would I lose power otherwise...? I mean my life turning into a video game was one thing, and I still didn't know how to use a scared gear by the way, but turning into a vampire was another thing entirely. But wait, I couldn't be a vampire... I had just eaten food hadn't I? So what was wrong with me was added to a long list of questions, first and foremost of was...

WHAT IS WRONG WITH MY LIFE!

**Issei's Stats**

**Strength: 4  
Endurance: 6  
Dexterity: 5  
Looks: 3  
Intellect: 6  
Perception: 6  
Willpower: 7  
Charisma: 1  
Wisdom: 5  
Fate: 5  
Spirit: 6  
Control: 2**

**Skills (Only ones with a value shown)**

**Chinese Cuisine: 24/100  
Japanese Cuisine: 60/100  
Korean Cuisine: 10/100  
Indian Cuisine: 3/100**

**Authors Note: I'm not sure if I will continue this, it really is a teaser so that people looking at the poll I have up will get an idea of the story...**


	2. Chapter 2

**High School DxD: Video Game Life**

**Disclaimer: I own no part of High School DxD, nor am I making any money from this story**

**Authors Note: Yes, I have decided to continue this story on a chapter by chapter basis, so it is still on probation as of now, but since this is the story with the most votes it will probably be continued. **

**Also... ecchi... I am really not sure if I should include it to the same extent as canon...but that might just be me, a girl speaking. So any opinions on that would be appreciated. I have tried to stay close to the Issei from the novels and books, so read and see...**

**Issei's Stats**

**Strength: 4**  
**Endurance: 6**  
**Dexterity: 5**  
**Looks: 3**  
**Intellect: 6**  
**Perception: 6**  
**Willpower: 7**  
**Charisma: 1**  
**Wisdom: 5**  
**Fate: 5**  
**Spirit: 6**  
**Control: 2**

**Skills (Only ones with a value shown)**

**Chinese Cuisine: 24/100**  
**Japanese Cuisine: 60/100**  
**Korean Cuisine: 10/100**  
**Indian Cuisine: 3/100**

I feel really tired, which is probably the only reason that I am not currently freaking out about my sudden allergy to sunlight. If more power was going to my brain then I would be in a state of panic. I guess I can finally be thankful for my low stats – if they were higher I would still be shocked and frightened beyond reason.

As I walk down the road, the things around me seem somehow... different? Not different like they would appear to a half asleep person, but strange... Some areas are dim, while others have a strange golden glow about them. The old church looks scary, and there's a red stop sign with the words 'off limits' in capitals on it. Huh? Are they doing roadworks or something... because it looks perfectly normal to me...?

Then a person walks straight through it! Hey, don't you know that off limits is off limits! But come to think of it, several people have come from that direction, and that's the only way they could have come from. I am no longer thankful for my low stats... I need higher perception! A few minutes of watching and I am thoroughly confused. Am I really the only one who can see the sign? Maybe I should walk over... an illusion? I know that one of those sacred gear things was able to make them – maybe that's why.

What?! Why is there a wall... an invisible wall at that! The area really is off limits... to me and me alone! Frustrated I try shoving my shoulder against this smooth barrier, but to no effect, other that gaining me a lot of weird looks. Hey... Just because you cannot feel the invisible wall doesn't mean it's not real! Oops... I think I said that out loud.

**Reputation Discovered!**

**Reputation is the average opinion of you in an area. Raise it by befriending occupants, completing quests or certain actions. Alienating occupants, failing quests and certain actions will lower it.**

**Reputation: Town: 0/100!**

What! The average opinion of me is zero! That can't be right, not in the slightest!

**Reputation Decrease: Cancelled: Reputation is already at minimum!**

No I will be popular! I will! I'm going to do hundreds of quests make tons of pretty girls like me and get it up to 100, and then... become a Harem King!

**Reputation Decrease: Cancelled: Reputation is already at minimum!**

I... really have to stop saying stuff like that out loud. Okay, today the day that a new, improved Hyoudou Issei of the high reputation appears... the one who all the girls will love beyond reason, even the ones in the Kendo Club... who have morning practise today... and who Matsuda, Motohama and I were going to peek on! I'm late!

**Athletics Skill Discovered!****  
****Athletics is now 1!**

I sprint as fast as I can, until I'm gasping for breath and manage to reach the gates of Kuoh Academy, early at that.

**Athletics is now 2!**

**Quest Completed: Go to School: +55XP**

**New Area Discovered! Kuoh Academy! School Skills increase at a rate of x2 here!  
Reputation: Kuoh Academy: 0/100**

No time for that! I have urgent business to perform. Carefully and cautiously I walk around the back of the building... I cannot afford to be caught by a teacher since that would cut into my precious peeping time.

**Stealth Skill Discovered!****  
****Stealth is now 1!**

I object to that, I do like to think that I have had some skills before today, so why are they all beginning at 1? Looking around I can see the spot outside the girls changing rooms, and the giant gold exclamation mark floating in front of it. This really is a Hentai game! Otherwise why would peeping be a quest?

I walk up to Motohama and Matsuda, trying to push my way through to the hole. That plan fails miserably. Both of my so-called friends will not budge from their spot, and while I understand the sentiment I most certainly do not agree with it at all. Friends should share opportunities like this.

I am however pleased to have my idea confirmed about Yuuma-chan. Neither of them have any recollection of her, both a relief and a disappointment. After all, they don't have to know that she tried to kill me and I could enjoy the supposed status of a man who has a cute girlfriend. Now let's get down to the quest at hand.

**New Story Branching Quest: Peeping! (TUTORIAL)**

**...Branching Quests have several different ways they can be successfully completed, some of these will only be accessible under certain conditions, or if you have the prerequisite statistics...**

Okay, I don't really see how that will affect me, unless my low stats get in the way. Hopefully the increase in perception will help me take in as much as possible, and my increased intelligence will commit it to memory!

**Branch 1: Peep on the girls without getting caught!  
Reward: 10 Gold, Photo's of the Experience**

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes this is perfect! Not only do I get to peep but this game is going to give me pictures of them... in underwear... this is paradise!

**Select Branch 1**

**Yes  
No**

Of course it's a yes. Here... I... come!

**Branch 1: Unavailable: Requires Neutral or Evil Alignment**

I want to scream no at the top of my lungs, but I have been mortally wounded, both body and soul. To show a man such... such possibilities and then to deny him access to the treasure is both cruel and inhumane, that is if I am still a human which seems somewhat unlikely. But whatever species I have become, if I am the only one then we are soon to become extinct. I cannot take it; already my body is shaking from withdrawal symptoms. I have to peep! I have to! Take away the perversion and you take away all that makes me who I am!

This trembling, this agony, I lie on the ground and watch the school clock tick onwards, counting the seconds until my life force bleeds away entirely. Then I realise something. The clock... doesn't move any further! It still ticks but... the hands remain the same! What is happening to me, my life and now even to my school life?

It takes a few minutes more; at least I think its a few minutes before the possibilities occur to me... If time has stopped, and my life really is a game... and the quest really is a story quest then nothing is going to change if I go and raise my skills in the meantime! Okay, I don't actually have many skills yet, just the cooking ones, athletics and stealth, but I can always raise athletics through running, right? And there have to be more than just those skills; they are simply waiting to be discovered. So let's explore this video game world, and hopefully find a few Hentai scenes.

The first thing that I notice is that although time has stopped, the other students and teachers haven't. Rather they are milling around talking, and chatting like there are fifteen minutes before class... which there are... But instead of going into class they are continuing to chat, like they have no sense of time. I must say that I am glad. Even if there are advantages to peeping if everyone is frozen, it would also be kind of creepy to see everyone like statues!

As I make to leave the school I stop, steps away from yet another off limits sign. Apparently the game does not want me to leave school right now. Oh well, it's not like there is nothing else to do here. Now... should I check out the library or start running to train my athletics? I'll run first, I think, and then when I'm tired I can go and rest in the library and then go running again. I am a genius!

Or not, as I soon discover some 20 minutes of on and off sprinting later. My stats are simply too low... my endurance and strength, despite not being particularly high, were, for me a decent score. Way better than my 1 in Charisma at any rate. But that wasn't enough... I am panting and gasping once again, and for what?

**Athletics is now 4!**

Not only has it taken longer than the first time to raise it, it's only gone up a miniscule amount. But I can't stop now. If the tutorial quest really is stopping time then I probably won't get this benefit once it ends... I should have played more RPG's and less... no... I will never regret playing Hentai games. But back to the topic at hand, I need to level up and train as much as possible while I have the chance. Yuuma-chan is still out there, and might come after me again... not a pleasant thought. Not that being murdered with a spear of light ever is pleasant for me.

With my resolve strengthened once more I resume my running, drawing even more strange looks from people as I run another lap of the school. I am aiming to run at a steadier pace this time, maybe that will help?

**Athletics is now 5!**

Nope, I'm even more drained than I was before. My legs feel like dead weights and air has become a precious commodity. To the library it is... ugh... it's on the other side of the school... This is going to hurt.

Thankfully the library is deserted at this time of day. As I walk into the cool, air-conditioned room I immediately feel more alert and more awake. It is not enough to erase the exhaustion, but it allows moving to once again be only moderately painful.

**Status Alert: You are no longer in direct sunlight: Stats return to normal!**

That would probably be the reason, and I would be convinced that I am now a vampire except for the fact that I have just entered a building uninvited, which vampires can't do. At least I hope vampires can't because otherwise I might be in danger... Yuuma-chan was some kind of magical being so there must be other such people around. That does not bode well for me!

Having gotten temporarily off track I return to my primary target, which is to learn new skills. And what better, and easier way is there to learn skills in a game than through skill books? But... there aren't any... at all. No glowing books decorate the shelves... just more and more and more and more information books, and improving books. How utterly tedious this is going to be.

And with that I take down a Maths book from my first year at Kuoh Academy. I might as well start with something that I stand a chance of understanding; my grades have always been poor and if I can get points for doing the easy stuff, then it's obvious. I will always choose the best option, particularly since I seem to have unlimited time.

**Maths Skill Discovered!****  
****Maths is now 1!**

...Maths is boring beyond reason. Though that might be due to the fact that I am actually trying to learn it, rather than just pass the exams. I've also found a way to keep track of time. While the in-game time, as I've begun to call it, is static, there is another clock which tells me my total "playing time". And according to said clock, I have been here 5 hours, and still am suffering from aching muscles. Not that I had much in the way of muscles in the first place, but those I do have ache!

**Maths is now 7!**

The total progress that I've made is somewhat... underwhelming. My brain is numb. I know that I should probably be doing running once more, but I have had it. I need to see pretty girls... and admire them... and their oppai... if this evil desire thwarting game will let me. Out to the school entrance it is. Most of the students are either there or in classrooms. Maybe I could learn a social skill?

...Apparently not. Either there are no social skills or my charisma score of 1 is just that deplorable. I've tried talking to people and they just look at me like I'm a contagious disease. Fools, you cannot catch perversion! All you can do is watch and wonder at the heights to which I will go for the sake of my desires, and oppai!

**Reputation Decrease: Cancelled: Reputation is already at minimum!**

My reputation here really is terrible also. I managed to catch a girl's handkerchief when it flew out of her hand, and I am rewarded with the following words...

"No... He's looking at me!"

"Be careful... men like him... just stay clear..."

"Don't touch that, it's contaminated"

How cruel. And I was genuinely trying to help as well. So what if when I tried to pick it up I accidentally saw her underwear? It's not even like it was revealing underwear... So I said that and she burst into tears and ran away. I really need to raise my charisma, why did I put that last point into wisdom again? I could have been popular for once!

**Reputation Decrease: Cancelled: Reputation is already at minimum!**

Everyone is looking at me... with glaring eyes. I think I'll go for another run... out of here... as quickly as possible. Ah, the roof, a place you can count on to be secluded in the morning. Sure I am currently confined to the shaded section but I brought this book I grabbed at random from the library. It will definitely help me with my popularity. Its title is... "Bonding: A Complete Guide". I can see it now, the emotional connections between me and a cute, non-homicidal girl forming, slowly building a romance!

All I have to do is read about this and...

**Science Skill Discovered!****  
****Science is now 1!**

Wait...This is about Chemical Bonding?! I don't want to learn about hydrogen bonds or disulphide bridges... what are they even?

**Science is now 2!**

My head hurts. My brain was made to appreciate the finer things in life, like oppai. It was not designed to spend time on base subjects like science, as can be demonstrated by my lack of aptitude in it, despite spending an hour trying to grasp the concepts in the book. Now if it was a porn magazine I would have been able to memorise that in a heartbeat... but life just can't be that simple, can it?

Then I see it! A sacred book to all men... a magazine of explicit nature is flying past me, gone from my bag, tossed back and forth by the wind. This is sacrilege! I must save the treasure! Running after it I ignore the decrease in stats when I leave the shade.

**Status Alert: You are in Direct Sunlight: -25% from all stats!**

I climb up the side of the mesh fencing, ignoring the ache in my body. My hand reaches out... brushes... touches... and grasps at long last. A moment of triumph grips me... before I overbalance and fall. Goodbye life. Forget about being killed by a girlfriend, which at least involved an actual girl. I Hyoudou Issei have been killed by my porn magazine. I collide with the ground.

**You have taken damage! HP 10/50**

That's low... 80% of my health has gone... I almost did die... but I survived. I am alive! I am really alive! Where did the magazine go?

**Acrobatics Skill Discovered!****  
****Acrobatics is now 1!**

Oh, that's nice. Now where did the magazine go?! I guess that life has thrown yet another spanner in the works of my life. Now where am I exactly...? I seem to be in the forest around the back of the school? I can see the school building through the trees but the pathway back is blocked by some rather nasty looking brambles. And when I say nasty looking I am not meaning in the slight scratch way. They are alive!

**Enemy Alert: Biting Bramble! Level 3!**

A tendril snakes out and I step back... And fall over. Am I really going to die here? Well, I have certainly had enough near death experiences to last me a lifetime, but being killed by a blackberry bush is almost as bad as being killed by a porn magazine. Before the tendril can land another blow I grab a stick.

**Melee Weapons Skill Discovered!****  
****Melee Weapons is now 1!**

It wraps around the stick, trying to pull it out of my hands. Not good. Yanking the stick back however snaps a good chunk of it off. Apparently having no other long range weapon the bramble readies its remaining weapon... its teeth... in its mouth... which is embedded into the wood and is grinning. In-between it's teeth I can see... horror beyond horrors... shredded paper. The remnants of the precious treasure that define a young man's adolescence!

I lose it. I cannot help it, rage surges strong giving me a boost of strength as I avenge my dearly departed friend. Hey... brambles are plants and so are trees... so if trees make paper... then I shall kill the cannibal plant! I shall do the world a favour, and yes I know that brambles and trees are a different species but still... any excuse.

The stick connects again and again; there are quite a few woodchips where the stick has been shredded by the biting bramble's teeth. I thought about trying to learn an unarmed combat skill... but my arm punching that mass of razor sharp teeth... I think not. Finally it stops its biting and fades away into nothingness. Great no-one's going to believe me when I say that I fought a sentient plant which then disappeared, are they?

**Melee Weapons is now 2!**

**Biting Bramble: Level 3: Defeated! +40XP +1 Gold**

**You are now Level 2! +10 Attribute points, + 1 Perk Point**

Great! High charisma here I come!

**Issei's Stats**

**Strength: 4**  
**Endurance: 6**  
**Dexterity: 5**  
**Looks: 3**  
**Intellect: 6**  
**Perception: 6**  
**Willpower: 7**  
**Charisma: 1**  
**Wisdom: 5**  
**Fate: 5**  
**Spirit: 6**  
**Control: 2**

**Skills (Only ones with a value shown)**

**Chinese Cuisine: 24/100**  
**Japanese Cuisine: 60/100**  
**Korean Cuisine: 10/100**  
**Indian Cuisine: 3/100**

**Maths: 7/100  
Science: 2/100**

**Athletics: 5/100**

**Stealth: 1/100**

**Melee Weapons: 2/100**


End file.
